


I could (be the one)

by PitchonthePitch



Series: AUgust Soulmate AU's [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Has Anxiety, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Death Threats, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Past Abuse, Sexism, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, aro/acephobia, aromantic izzy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 15:56:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20117701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitchonthePitch/pseuds/PitchonthePitch
Summary: Name - You have your soulmate’s name somewhere on your body.Maia refuses to look at her soulmark.Alec lies to his soulmate about what his name is.Izzy doesn't think she'll ever get a soulmark of her own.You'd think having your soulmate's name printed on your skin would make your love life a little bit easier.  Think again.  For one group of disaster gays, soulmarks just complicate things even more.





	I could (be the one)

“Can I get a name for the order?”

The guy hesitated, like he’d forgotten his own name. Normally, Magnus would’ve been annoyed at a customer for wasting his time, especially since other customers were waiting in line behind him. But, well, this particular customer was a really hot guy. So, Magnus decided he’d let the pause slide. Finally, the guy stuttered out, “Jace.”

Jace. What a strange name. The guy didn’t look like a Jace. With big brown eyes and a nervous smile, he looked more like a Stephen or a Michael. _Or an Alexander,_ a little voice shouted in the back of his head. Magnus had only gotten his soulmark a week ago, but ever since, he’d been driving himself crazy waiting and hoping for an Alexander to come into the coffeeshop. He had the whole scenario planned out in his head: Alexander would walk into the coffeeshop; he’d start to order and then falter when he read his cashier’s nametag. “Magnus,” he would say, with a little, corny smile. “That’s not a name you hear everyday.” And then they’d live happily ever after. Or something.

But of course this guy wasn’t Alexander. Magnus could never be that lucky. “That’ll be 9.49,” he said.

Again, the guy paused. He was staring at Magnus’ outstretched wrist. Magnus tried not to squirm under that gaze. He was still getting used to his soulmark. The name _Alexander_ was printed in fine letters across his wrist. “Um. That’ll be 9.49,” he repeated.

“Right,” the guy sputtered, ripping into his wallet and handing Magnus a haphazard stack of ones. Magnus handed him his change.

“Thanks,” the guy said, with a strained, but adorable smile.

“No problem.”

Catarina made his order in record time. Sometimes Magnus thought she was magic. Magnus peered at Jace out of the corner of his eye when he got up to get his drinks. They made eye contact, and Magnus gave him a small smile.

At that moment, the door rang with the sound of someone new entering the coffeeshop. It was a blond guy. He headed for Jace; Magnus guessed he was the one the second coffee was for.

Jace met him before the blond could get halfway into the coffeeshop. “Here, I got your coffee. Let’s go.”

The blond frowned. “You don’t want to stay--?”

“Nope.” Jace pulled the blond out of the coffeeshop after him, saying some excuse about a favor his mom needed right away.

Magnus stared after the two of them. He met a lot of strange people, working at the coffeeshop. But usually the weirdos were the ones he had to kick out; they didn’t run off on their own, like they were afraid of something. He sent Catarina a look. “Did you see that guy?”

“Yeah. What the hell did you say to the poor soul?” Catarina looked at Magnus with a teasing grin. “He looked like he couldn’t get out of here fast enough.”

Magnus held his hands up in mock surrender. “I didn’t say anything.” All he did was ask for the guy’s name.

Then again, Magnus reminded himself, customer service was a rather extraordinary experience in which people were constantly angry with him for no apparent reason. Customers were a strange breed, even the cute ones. He got back to work and forgot about the hot brunette, Jace, rather quickly.

***

Jace liked Maia a lot. He liked the way she handled herself. He liked the way people looked at them when they were out together. He liked the way she didn’t seem to notice when other guys stared at her. He liked the way she always stuck up for her friends, like when she punched a guy in the face for harassing Clary at Pandemonium. He even liked the way she loved all her classes at school. He liked that she was smart and driven and had something she was passionate about. He even liked the way she explained ducks’ importance in their ecosystem when Jace told her about his fear of the bloodthirsty creatures.

Jace liked Maia a lot. So, he was really disappointed about what happened the next time they hung out together. He’d just gone out for coffee with Alec. Or at least, coffee had been the plan, until Alec unexpectedly _pushed him_ out of the coffeeshop. Apparently Maryse texted saying she needed a favor, or something.

So, Jace had some free time on his hands. Naturally, he went to Maia’s place.

They had just put on a movie, one of those weird indie films Maia loved so much. Jace wasn’t exactly the deep, artsy type, so of course he was more focused on the girl in front of him than the film they were supposed to be watching. He did that corny move where he pretended to stretch, only to put his arm around her, because he knew that was exactly the kind of thing Maia rolled her eyes at but secretly liked. Soon after, they started kissing. He took off Maia’s shirt and nipped at the junction between her neck and her shoulder.

When he pulled back to admire the marks he made, he saw a new one on her lower back. Her soulmark.

He sucked in a breath. Oh, no.

“Jace? Jace, what’s wrong?”

Oh, shit.

Maia turned around to look at him with wide eyes. Those dark brown eyes that he could spend hours staring into.

Jace felt his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. “Your -- You just got your soulmark.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Maia put her shirt back on. “Don’t tell me what the name is,” she said. “Please. If it’s not yours, and I can tell by your reaction that it’s not, then I don’t want to know.”

“Maia--”

“I like you, Jace.” She looked at him with those big brown eyes, and Jace wanted more than anything to go back to what they had been doing five minutes ago. She asked, “Can we just forget about soulmarks? Can we keep hanging out, even if we’re not soulmates?”

Jace wanted to say yes. He wanted to say yes so badly. But… “We can’t,” he said. “I’m sorry, Maia.”

Tears welled up in her eyes that she tried to hold back. The tears made them look even bigger. “I’m sorry, too. Please leave.”

“Wait, Maia--”

“I said, please leave.”

***

Someone was banging on Maia’s door.

She was terrified it was Jordan.

Jordan had been Maia’s first boyfriend. At first, he was sweet and kind and funny. But the longer they dated, the more he seemed to change. He was jealous and controlling and possessive. He got frustrated the longer time went on that neither of them got their soulmarks. He told Maia that if he found out she was someone else’s soulmate, he’d get so furious that he wasn’t even sure what he would do. Kill the guy, maybe, so no one else could have her.

She moved to New York to get away from him.

But now she had her soulmark, and if her soulmate was Jordan… If he found Maia’s name printed on his skin, she knew he would do everything in his power to find her again. He would do whatever he could to lay claim on the person he saw as belonging to him.

She felt like no one in the world wanted to love her. Even Jace let her down, and he was one of her best friends even before they started dating. The moment he saw that she had a soulmark, and the name printed on her skin wasn’t his, he lost interest. No one wanted to love her. People wanted to claim her or use her or control her -- but no one wanted to love her.

Her phone rang. Clary.

She answered with a shaky voice. “Clary, hey. Would -- would you come over?”

On the other line, Clary sounded nervous. “Oh. Uh, well, I’m actually already here. I’m at your door.”

“Oh!” It was just Clary at her door. Thank God. Maia let her in.

Clary was drenched. Her red hair looked even darker from the rain that had soaked into it.

Maia stared at her. “Did you walk here? In the rain?” No wonder she had been banging on the door.

“Yes.” Clary was looking at her with wide eyes. “Jace told me you got your soulmark. So did I.”

“Oh. Um, okay, good for you. Who’s your soulmate?”

Clary blinked at her. “You haven’t looked at yours yet, have you?”

“No, and I’m not going to. Come upstairs, you can borrow some dry clothes.”

Clary followed her up the stairs to her room. “You’re -- you’re not going to look at it?”

“No. Soulmarks are bullshit. They’re just a mark of ownership designed to trap people into relationships they wouldn’t otherwise want. Here, I know you like this shirt ‘cause it’s extra soft.” Maia pulled a sweater and a pair of sweatpants out of her closet and then handed them to Clary. “Who needs a soulmate, anyway? Who wants to be tied to another person forever? The whole concept of soulmates sounds scary to me, not romantic.” She added, “Not to say that I’m not happy for you, of course. I’m sure whoever your soulmate is, they’re lovely.”

Maia looked away as Clary started to get dressed.

When Clary spoke, there was something in her voice that Maia couldn’t identify. “So, you’re saying you don’t want to know who your soulmate is?”

“No,” Maia said. “I don’t. I’m happy to hear about yours, though.”

“Um,” Clary said. “It’s a girl. Named Mia.”

“Mia? Pretty name. Can I see your soulmark?”

“No! It’s in a, uh, private place,” Clary said.

“Ooh, hot. Well, if you can’t show me yours, then do you wanna hear about how Jace dumped me when he saw mine?”

“Sure,” Clary said. Something looked off in her smile, but Maia didn’t call her on it. Clary blow dried her hair, and then they got comfy in Maia’s room. They popped in a movie and watched it together. It was the same indie flick that Maia couldn’t focus on earlier, because Jace was glomming onto her like a sea urchin. Maia ranted to Clary about her breakup, and Clary listened attentively. She even offered to talk to Jace.

“No way,” Maia said. “That relationship is dead.”

“I’m sorry,” Clary said. She had a strange look on her face, like she really was sorry, like she somehow felt responsible for Maia’s breakup.

“Don’t be,” Maia said. “Thanks for being here, Clary. I was really scared my ex would show up because he got a soulmark with my name. I’m glad you came instead.” She put an arm around Clary’s shoulder and squeezed. When she felt how cold Clary was, she wrapped her covers tighter around the other girl.

Clary sunk into her embrace. Clary was the best at giving hugs. “I’m always here for you,” she said, “however you need me to be.”

Maia didn’t think about Jordan for the rest of the night. Halfway through the movie, she fell asleep on her warm bed. The last thing she was conscious of was the smell of Clary’s hair. A strand of it tickled Maia’s nose where it was pressed into the other girl's shoulder. It still smelled like rain.

***

“Where have you been?” Izzy was looking at Alec with a considering stare. She was probably wondering why he hadn’t been home as much in the last few weeks. And why he was acting so strangely. And why he only wore shirts with long sleeves lately.

“Nowhere.”

Izzy gave him a look.

“I was out for coffee, okay?” Alec tried not to blush. He kept going back to the coffeehouse. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew nothing good could come from seeing his soulmate and_ lying_ to him about who he was.

But he was already in too deep. He liked Magnus. He liked seeing him everyday. He liked the way Magnus talked to him and looked at him and occasionally even flirted with him. The two of them had become friends. Today, Magnus even wrote his number on Alec’s cup before handing it off to him. Next to the number, he wrote a message. _Maybe one day we could get coffee together._ Alec was ecstatic -- until Magnus handed the cup to him and said, “See you around, Jace.”

Now, Izzy was levelling Alec with a look. “What’s going on with you?”

“N-nothing.” Goddammit, he was stuttering again. Bad enough he did it while he was talking to Magnus; now he stuttered when he was just _thinking_ about the guy?

She tilted her head at him, in that curious way of hers. She used the same gesture when she was working in the lab, thoughtfully inspecting slides under that microscope of hers. “How,” she asked, “can you be such a private person and such a _terrible liar?”_

Alec sighed. He didn’t like hiding things from Izzy. He didn’t like hiding things from any of the people he loved, and so a part of him couldn’t understand how he’d managed to dig himself in such a deep hole with Magnus.

But another part of him, the same part that urged him to tell Magnus the wrong name and Izzy a bad lie, knew exactly how and why. Alec hated that part of himself. He hated that weakness inside him, that all-encompassing fear that was the driving force behind every last one of his bad decisions.

“I got my soulmark,” he told Izzy.

“Oh,” she said. “No wonder you’ve been so happy lately.” Suddenly, Izzy didn’t look particularly happy herself.

“Izzy? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said. But she didn’t look okay. She looked the same way she sometimes looked in class, when she found a problem she couldn’t solve right away. Confused and oddly disappointed with herself. “I haven’t gotten mine.”

Oh. No wonder she was unhappy. “You will,” Alec told her. “Jace hasn’t gotten his soulmark either. You still have time, Izzy.”

“Alec…” Izzy took a big breath. “I’m not upset because I don’t have my soulmark yet. I’m upset because I know that I’m never going to get one. Deep down, I think I’ve always known.”

“What do you mean?”

Izzy ran a hand through her hair, looking frustrated. “Look. I know people think of me as this heartbreaker. Everyone thinks I go through guys and then cut them loose because I’m cruel or superficial or too ditzy to stay focused on any one person for long.”

“People don’t think you’re ditzy.” At least, not the people who knew Izzy for who she really was: the best forensic pathologist in New York. Rude people who barely knew her might’ve called her ditzy. And she certainly had to deal with a lot of mansplaining and sexism in her field of study. But anyone close to Izzy knew she was brilliant.

“Oh, so they just think I’m cruel and superficial, then?” See? Brilliant deductive reasoning skills. “Alec,” she said, “I’m trying to tell you… The reason none of my relationships last is because I always feel like I’m being unfair to the other person. Because I never like them the way they like me.” She sighed. “I used to think I just needed to find the right person. But now I’m starting to realize there is no right person for me. I don’t get butterflies; I don’t doodle anyone’s name in my notebooks during lecture; I don’t hear a love song on the radio and think of someone from my life. I never have.”

Oh. “So…” Alec was trying to understand. “You’re saying you’ve never had a crush on anyone?”

“Never. I tried to convince myself that I did. I even tried to convince myself I was in love with Raphael. He helped me figure out that I wasn’t.” Alec remembered Raphael. He and Izzy stayed friends, even after they broke up. When Alec asked what happened between them, Izzy had simply said there was no spark. “He’s asexual. He doesn’t feel sexual attraction for other people. And he helped me realize that I’m aromantic. I don’t feel romantic attraction for other people.”

“Oh.” Alec took a minute to process all this new information. His sister was never going to get a soulmark. People spent their whole lives waiting for their soulmarks to appear, and his sister was never going to get one. He felt bad for her. He wanted her to be happy. How could she possibly be happy if she never got a soulmark? “Does Mom know?”

“Please. Can you imagine Maryse Lightwood finding out her only daughter is never going to get a soulmark? She already thinks I’m a failure.” Izzy let out a sigh, wrapping her arms around herself. “You know what the worst part is? I like myself exactly the way I am. So why can’t she?”

“She won’t be too happy with me, either.” Slowly, Alec rolled up the sleeve on his shirt until it was past his elbow. There, on his bicep, was a printed name. _Magnus._

Izzy stared at it. “‘Magnus?’ I thought that was a boy’s name.”

Alec gave her a look.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” After a pause, Alec added, “I met him.”

“You met your soulmate? Oh, my God, tell me everything. How’d you meet? What’s he like?” Izzy went on with a barrage of questions, all of which held the implication that Alec and his soulmate were in a romantic relationship.

Which, of course, they weren’t.

“We met at a coffee shop. He’s amazing. Also, he thinks my name is Jace, and he has no idea that I’m his soulmate.”

Izzy stared at him. “Why does he think your name is Jace?”

“Because… I may have told him so… the first time we met.” Izzy opened her mouth; Alec cut her off before she could tell him what an idiot he was. “I panicked! I saw Magnus printed on this random guy’s nametag, and all I wanted was to get coffee that day! I didn’t have any plans to meet my soulmate at nine o’clock in the morning, when I had bed hair and the same shirt I wore the day before.” He kept going, offering his sister a barely-coherent ramble to explain his ridiculous behavior. “But then I kept going into the coffeehouse to see him, and we became friends, and now it’s too late to tell him the truth.”

“Okay, let me see if I understand… You’re telling me you want to lie to your soulmate for the rest of his life so that you can avoid the awkwardness of telling him your real name?”

“So, you do understand!”

Izzy looked at him like he was hopeless. “Ay, hermano. Don’t worry. We can be old spinsters together.” She patted his head.

Alec sighed. She had a point. How was he ever going to end up in a romantic relationship with Magnus if the poor guy didn’t even know they were soulmates? The whole point of the soulmark was to make relationships easier. It gave the wearer definitive proof of who they were meant to be with. How typical of Alec to still find a way to sabotage this relationship for himself.

The next day, he went back to the coffeehouse. He made a decision: he was going to tell Magnus the truth. No matter how awkward the situation might be, Magnus deserved to know that Alec was his soulmate.

When Magnus saw him, he didn’t look at him the same way he had the day before. He looked at Alec like he didn’t recognize him. “Good morning,” he said, but his tone was cold. “What can I get for you, Alexander?”

Oh. Shit.

Apparently, Jace had stopped by the coffeehouse on his own. He gave Magnus his name for his order. And when Magnus asked how his cute friend was doing, he told him _Alec_ was fine.

Needless to say, Magnus wanted some kind of explanation. He sat down with Alec at one of the tables. “You have fifteen minutes until my break’s over,” he said.

“I wanted to tell you the truth,” Alec started.

“So, why didn’t you? Were you embarrassed that your soulmate’s a barista? Or did you just want to vet me before you told me the truth?”

“No!” Alec said. “I don’t have any problem with what you do for a living. And I wasn’t vetting you. I like you. From the moment I saw you, I liked you.”

“So, why did you lie to me?” Magnus wasn’t acting cold anymore; he was looking at Alec with earnest eyes, and Alec knew he still had a chance.

“I got my soulmark a week before I met you,” Alec confessed, “and I didn’t tell anyone about it. No one in my life knows that I’m gay, except my sister, as of yesterday.” He ran a hand through his hair, feeling self conscious. “I couldn’t tell you the truth because I wasn’t ready to face it for myself. But, Magnus…” Slowly, cautiously, he rested a hand against Magnus’ on the table. “I’m ready now.”

Magnus was staring at him with wide, hopeful eyes. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

That day, Alec went home with plans to come out to the rest of his family. Namely, his mom. Unfortunately, when he got there, he saw that his mom was already in a bad mood. “You just missed Izzy. Your sister has told me that she’s not interested in men, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever get a soulmark.” Maryse shook her head, like she couldn’t believe such news. “She also said she’s perfectly happy with who she is, and if I’m not, then _I’m_ the one with the problem. She said she’s finished ‘hiding who she is.’ I swear, sometimes I can’t believe that girl’s my daughter.”

Alec felt a horrible swarm of emotions. On one hand, he wanted to defend his sister and tell Maryse that Izzy deserved to be proud of who she was. On the other hand, he had his own news he wanted to share with their mom… and maybe once she heard his news, she’d be more open to accepting Izzy. “I got my soulmark,” he told her.

Maryse instantly brightened. She even hugged him, and honestly? Alec couldn’t remember the last time his mom hugged him. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart! Let me see it. Who’s the lucky girl?”

Alec pulled his shirt sleeve up, revealing the mark. “The lucky boy is named Magnus. I met him a few weeks ago. And he’s even more amazing than the mark ever could’ve prepared me for.”

“Oh,” Maryse said. Without another word, she went up to her room. Alec wished he could say he was surprised.

The next day, Izzy woke him up. “Alec! Alec, Alec, Alec, look! I got it! I got my soulmark!”

“Really?” Alec said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Awesome. I’m happy for you, Izzy. Who’s the lucky guy?”

Izzy adjusted her tank top so he could better see her collarbone. On it, in clear letters, was a name:_ Isabelle._

So, his sister had gotten a soulmark, after all. She had someone who loved and accepted her unconditionally. And that someone was herself. Alec beamed at her. “I’m so happy for you, Izzy.”

Izzy grinned. “Me too. I heard you told Mom about Magnus.”

Alec nodded. “And I told Magnus the truth about me. He was mad at first, but he understands where I was coming from. We made a date for this weekend.”

Izzy squeed. “So, when do I get to meet him?”

“Not anytime soon,” Alec laughed.

They sat together on Alec’s bed and talked about their soulmates. Alec was adamant that he wasn’t bringing Magnus home anytime soon. He didn’t care if they were predestined to be together; you didn’t introduce a guy to your sister on the first date. Izzy had found out that there were meet-and-greets for aro/ace people. She was going to go with Raphael to the next meeting. For the first time in a long time, the Lightwood siblings knew that they were going to be okay. They had love in their lives, and the love they had seemed even more extraordinary for having come from unlikely places. Their mother wasn’t the person they wished she was, but the two of them had each other. Izzy had fought for herself, and won. And Alec had Magnus -- for as long as Magnus would have him back. Their love stories were far from over, and they were so excited about where their soulmarks would take them.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh this fic is so messy. I almost considered taking the Maia/Clary storyline and the Malec/Izzy storyline and making them into two separate fics. So, please let me know if you like the fic lol. Or let me know if you thought it was confusing and I should split it into two different fics.


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